After Valentines Fun!

amoraphobia

n. an irrational fear of Valentine’s Day.

bud light

n. the blatantly cheap flower selection from a guy who needs to be dumped ASAP. (How was your V-Day? Bud light.)

carniwhore

n. a girl who puts out for carnations.

do-or-diamond

adj. as in, if I don’t see a ring today, he’s dead to me.

long-stem posers

n. people who send themselves flowers from a “secret admirer.”

lote

v. to walk the thin line between love and hate. (I lote Johnny. One day he’s a dollface; the next he’s a total wanker.)

ménage à flaws

n. when you crash your friend’s Valentine’s Day date only to talk about all your relationships gone wrong.

PDR

n. public display of rejection: when your valentine takes you somewhere lovely only to break your heart in front of strangers.

Valentiny Tim

n. a man whose masculinity is put in question by his overenthusiasm for V-Day. (I mean, I don’t expect him to be a Valentiny Tim, but he could at least try to hide his total amoraphobia.)